Back 2 School Extravaganza

We have the coolest church ever!! For lots of reasons, but we'll just start with one. The Back 2 School Extravaganza - a free carnival for local kiddos.

Yesterday we helped set up. The highlight - cleaning the 14 bounce-houses...

mazes, slides, obstacle courses...we even found a leak and closed the opening...we're heroes!!

It's hard work, but someone had to do it...I don't know how kids play on those things for hours. I was pretty tired after a few times down the giant side,

and racing a 10 year-old through the obstacle course. After that, we handed over the cleaning to younger, more energetic people...It's hard to say how clean things got, but they did race through there with spray bottles and rags...

The church had 2500 back-packs full of school supplies to give to kids who needed them. And lots of free stuff - face-painting, cotton candy, pop-corn, snow-cones, Veggie-Tales playing on the big projector screen, and Larry-Boy was there...and a dentist, but that's not so cool...

Today we supervised the kiddos playing in the bounce-houses. At the end of the day, we got to deflate them, fold, and roll - like a GIANT air mattress. Those things are really heavy (they said the biggest one was 700lbs)...it was hard work...apparently we did a good enough job that the one of the guys in charge offered me a job...no thank-you, I'm going to India...

Moving over-seas!

Not us (yet), but our friends are getting ready to move over-seas next month, so they asked us if we could help them.

We started by teaching their 1 year old to play Angry Birds. Before he leaves the country he needs to be introduced to this very popular, highly addictive game. It's great entertainment waiting in lines at the court house (marriage license), SS office, DMV, etc...yeah, that's what we've been doing lately...

Put your finger here, and then fling the bird to destroy things

In all seriousness, we pretty much moved into our friend's house for a week, and helped sort, pack and haul stuff, sell appliances on craigslist, play with the baby, change a cloth diaper, and get their computers all backed-up and such. We even went with them and the moving truck to visit the grandparents and drop off some furniture - our first over-night trip where Duane & I got a share a suitcase, and only pack 1 tube of toothpaste! After that trip, we took the last loads of stuff to the house where our friends are staying for the next few weeks until they go over-seas.

We had such a great time with our friends! Working together, eating meals together...now we haven't seen them in 48 hours and it feel really weird...

Living Indian-Style

This week we have some friends from India visiting, making it perfect timing for an Indian dinner. In the afternoon all the other girls were busy in class, or in town, or in the kitchen. 

Which left me in charge of the children :) so the moms could cook in peace. With the help of the guys, we took the 4 kiddos outside. I'm not sure which is more amusing to me - watching the kids, or watching the guys interact with the kids. 

Today the volunteers came to dig up the foundations for the bathroom additions on cabins 1-4, which provided free entertainment for the twins.

Eventually the babies wanted to get down and toddle around, and it was time for my meeting with Matt, so we took all the kids into the lecture hall. Matt and I attempted to have our meeting with the entertainment of the twins alternating between coloring on the dry-erase board and watching the 'struction out the window, while Duane kept the babies from creating too much destruction in the classroom...it felt like India...

Then we enjoyed a delicious Indian dinner :) what a good day...

"Thanks Becky for coming along and watching the baby," said one of the staff at the Discovery Bay campus in Washington (state). It seemed important to them to encourage me in what a valuable part I had played this week in watching baby Will so his Mama could attend the Fundraising Seminar.
It took me a while to figure out why it seemed so weird to hear that. Than I realized that all my years as a teen I heard that over and over. I had tagged along to various places to help with the kiddos - joining snack time after the "Moms of Preschooler Bible Study"...always the odd one who did't quite belong.

Maybe Carrie asking, "can I bring a friend to help with the baby" made them picture a teenager. But for me it was so weird to hear that "thank you" because I see myself so differently than I did when I was the random teenager just tagging along to help with kids. That's when I realized yet another way I grew while living with the DeZwaans last year. It may have looked like I finally got to be a live-in nanny, but during that time I learned that I was an adult, their peer and friend...who happened to help out with the kiddos from time to time.

This week, I came Discovery Bay with my friends and co-workers, and saw myself as an equal part of the team.
But while they spent 3 days sitting in lectures from 8:30am-5:30pm. I got snack time, play time, snuggle time, and bath time. Then during nap time, I got to sit in on the lectures. I'd say I got the good end of the deal.

Summer Thus Far...

2 months ago I arrived back in Idaho, glad to be home, but unsure of what exactly I would be doing...as it turns out, it's been a little bit of everything.

As I'm witting this sitting at the table in a quaint little cabin in Discovery Bay (in Washington State). A group of us drove about 13 hours to come here for a Fundrasing Seminar.

Being that I was homeschooled, and I already read the book, I wasn't going to come. Then Carrie asked me to be her Nanny this week. So baby Will and I get to chill out and when he naps, I sit in on some of the seminars...It's a nice relaxing activity after the craziness of the past couple weeks.
The beginning of June we went straight from a week of cooking for  fire camp, to the welcome dinner for the Backpackers D-School. We've got 5 students this summer - all guys, and there's 2 guys and a girl staffing the school.They are a fun group, so I joined them for a backpacking trip last week. It was my first time hiking/camping in the snow, and I am not a fan of that.
So I volunteered to be their driver for the trip to the REI Garage Sale. That's where the REI Store sells damaged or returned out-door gear for AMAZING prices. In order to get a good spot in line at this huge event, we drove down Friday and spent the night camping out in front of the store. Now I have warm clothes for future snow camping trips, although the rest of the summer should be snow-free. I even brought my warm, water-proof jacket to Washington, because it rains here...a lot...

Fire Camp

It's "Fire Camp" this week, so all the grownups are busy cooking for the fire-fighters in training,
The guys are also working on the gazebo and throwing around more dirt...
It's been rather cold and rainy, watching movies keeps the kiddos preoccupied and out of the kitchen. It also trick them into taking naps after spending the morning bouncing off the walls, or running around the camp on those rare sunny moments...

15 years ago

When my sisters and I were so much younger...

we lived a nice little house in Emporium, Pennsylvania.

We had an old barn in the backyard.

Then we moved back to Lima/Elim when I as 9.

That was 15 years ago and I haven't been back to Emporium since...until today...

We used to go on bike rides with our Uncle Fred, and he'd take us up this "steep" hill to go to Luigi's to buy candy...somehow the hill shrunk over the years...

Luigi's candy supply is rather limited nowadays, but they have good pizza rolls and hoggies...

Our sledding hill was someplace in this general area, where they built the new Elementary School

We walked down our old street and talked to the lady in the Red house across the street. It's not red anymore, but the same family still lives there.

There's our old house...I'd say it's one of the nicest on the street.

The back yard and the barn...

We also went to the old airport, which is now a giant factory. The old railroad bridge is still there.

so we attempted to play "bomb can"

The Courthouse - we used to love walking along the cement retaining wall.

We even found our way to our Church, which oddly enough is bigger than I remember it...

What I Have Learned...

How do we minister to street kids?
How do we rescue girls out of prostitution?
How do we have faith for an end to abuse and violence?
How do we live our lives knowing that the evils and injustices of the world are so much worse than we can even imagine?
How do we have hope in the midst of this?

I don’t have all of the answers
I can’t solve the world’s problems
But I do know the One who holds the world in His hands

He loves the widow who is struggling to survive
He loves the orphan who is lost and alone
He loves the children who run to the streets to escape the violence at home
He loves the girls who are trapped in prostitution with no way out
He loves the boys who have been forced to kill their friends

I cannot help them on my own.
It’s too hard
The needs are too overwhelming
The situations are too depressing
The statistics are too hopeless

I need more of Him.
I need to know His love
I need to feel His presence
I need to live in His peace
I need to be filled with His hope

Everything I do must be following His lead
What I say must come from what He’s spoken to me
How I love the hurting must be from the overflow of His love for me
All I do comes from Him
I must pray, listen, obey

Is that really so simple?
No, I have to know His voice
I have to spend time in His Word
In prayer
In worship
I have to know His truth,
so I can fight the lies of the enemy
I have to be confident in His love,
so I can keep walking when times are hard
knowing, He is with me!
I have to be able to praise Him
for who He is
in spite of what I see around me

He cares
He loves
He rescues
He restores

He is a God of Justice
In the end He wins
Evil looses

The slaves will be free
The broken will be healed
The orphan will have a home

Regardless of what happens here on earth,
“this suffering is not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Rom 8:18)
In the end, we win.

Attachment Disorder

This week we have been learning about Attachment Disorder.

Attachment is “the initial relationship between self and others, which serves as a blueprint for all future relationships” – Bowlby. Attachment provides security, helps a child learn to process information and reach intellectual potential, develop a conscience, learn to cope with stress, develop self-esteem and independence, and form other attachments.

Barbara told us of an article she read about a nice guy who randomly killed someone in cold blood. It doesn’t make sense that a man could kill, with no remorse or guilt. Unless you look at his childhood and realize he was abused as a baby, and his parents were on drugs and neglectful.

During the first year of life a baby learns to trust, as the parents respond to their cries and meet their needs. Or if their cries are ignored, or result abuse, they learn not to feel and don’t develop a sense of good/bad or right/wrong.

Then during the second year the child learns boundaries, as the parents don’t let the child be in control or give them everything they want – toys, candy, etc.

A child with attachment disorder grows up thinking they are bad, unwanted, helpless, and unlovable, that care-givers are unresponsive, hurtful, and untrustworthy, the world is not safe. They don’t trust others and try to control their environment. Oddly enough rich families who over-indulge their children end up with the same results as a poor family whose children are neglected. This is because children don’t need things; they need people – relationships - attachment.

Some recommended reading 
When love is not enough by Nancy Thomas
Dandelion on my pillow, butcher knife underneath by Nancy Thomas
Building the bonds of attachment – novel
Attachment, trauma, and healing – textbook
Boundaries with kids by Henry Cloud

Going to School

For the past 2 days, we didn’t have class, instead we spent the morning at school – a school for kids with special needs. Most the kids seemed to have Autism, Down-syndrome, or Cerebral palsy. They don’t learn the usual reading, math, and science. Instead they are learning life skills and independence – how to hold a spoon to feed themselves, or how to brush their teeth.

Yesterday, Amanda, Warner, and I helped with Physical Therapy. Each class (2-3 kids ages 8-16) would come in for about 30 minutes. Some kids were in wheel chairs, so we’d lift them out and lay them on a big rocking platform, or hold them on a giant ball and help them bounce. Other kids, we would help craw, or sit on the floor and roll a ball back and forth, or cheer for them as they climbed in the little jungle gym and went down the slide. I’m pretty sure PT is more of a work-out for the teacher than it is for the children.

Today, no classes had PT, so I joined Emily, Amanda, and Rachel in helping with 4 kids ages 8-10ish. These children seemed to be the more vocal/mobile then the kids who came to PT the day before. They could talk and walk, although one of the girls needed a lot of help eating her snack. One boy was latterly glued to Emily at all times, and scratched or bit when he was excited. One of the other boys smelled everything – his snack, our hands, etc. Then there was the one boy who kept trying to escape. It was a busy morning…

I was really impressed by how patient and calm the teachers were. I am sure it helps that this school had a 2-3 ratio of adults to kids. Although each group of kids were only there for 2 and ½ hours, then a new group would come, and most kids only came 1-2 days a week. I think that is better than having a bunch of kids there and it being ciaos the whole time. This school was way better than our role-play “school” with 3 “teachers” and 6 of us acting as “special needs kids”.

Disorderlyness

I can’t help but notice how at the beginning of this school, all of us students were rather well behaved. The first week of lectures, we did a lot of drawing pictures, and creative projects. We’re thinking, “ok, we're learning about children at risk, so we learn to be child-like?”

10 weeks later, we have gotten pretty good at child-like behavior. As we’ve been learning about learning discipline, disabilities, and behavior disorders, we have also been conveniently exhibiting examples. It’s pretty bad when Rachel tells the speaker (her sister Michelle) to see us as her 5th grade class, because we have about that much of an attention span. It also doesn’t help that Michelle is teaching via Skype. Fortunately the internet isn't working, so we had to go to Scott and Leslie's house today for our Skype lecture. Getting out of the classroom, makes us slightly less antsy.

Michelle has been teaching us about the reasons kids act up, for: Attention, Power, Revenge, or Avoidance of Failure, and then how to deal with children based on the situation.

Now, when one of the guys, says “I can’t…” we say, “are you acting up to avoid failure?” So we get to apply what we are learning with our classmates, although maybe not how we would with the kids…

Michelle also gave us some links with resources for working with kids:
- A website: Tools For Teaching by Fred Jones, with group activities for us.
- A Book: Cooperative Learning by Spencer Kagan
- Another book: Grooming the next Generation for Success by Dani Johnson. One thing that book says is that the goal of discipline is to protect and empower, not to control. That's a really good point.

On Friday, as a nice outlet to our ADD, we got to role-play. 3 people acted as the teacher and teachers aids, and the rest of us got to be kids with special needs - ADD, Autism, Blind, etc…it was great fun acting up with our classmates tried to teach a lesson on “saying please.”


One thing I learned this week, and through last week's role-playing, is how to respond to kids who act up to get attention. I had thought ignoring them was the best way to deal with that, but then they just act up even more and try harder to get attention. Michelle said, one way to help those kids is to stand closer to them, and use their name in what you're talking about, "lets say John wanted Billy's toy." John starts listening because the story is about him. What a great technique...

Attachment Disorder

Half of our group went to the Day Care. Renante (the only Spanish-speaker) taught Amanda's teaching on "The Value of the Child."

We also played games with the kids. I would say the favorite was "the dancing game." We all danced to fun childrens songs, and like "hot potato" we would randomly stop the music. When that happened, everyone had to freeze in whatever position they were in. It was quite impressive how quiet the kids were for those 2 seconds before the music started again.

Our afternoon with them was especially interesting in light of the morning's class. We were suddenly aware of how obvious it was that some of the kids suffer from attachment disorders as evident by their desperation for attention and affection: eagerly sitting on our laps, although they had just met us, misbehaving during Renante's teaching, and desperately wanting to answer every question she asked.

Just Children?

Late one evening, D.L. Moody, arrived home from speaking at a meeting. Emma, his wife, was already asleep. As her exhausted husband climbed into bed, she rolled over and murmured, “so how did it go tonight?”

“Pretty well,” he replied. “Two and a half (meet the father)”

His wife lay silently for a moment pondering this response, then finally smiled, “that’s sweet,” she replied. “How old was the child?”

“No, no, no,” Moody answered. “It was two children and one adult! The children have their whole lives in front of them. The adult’s life is already half-gone.”

I have heard that story a few times over the course of this school, so I thought I should share it. I copied it from the book “Too Small to Ignore” by Wess Stafford.

As part of school, we each get to teach each other about the Value of the Child. I pretended to be teaching in India, and my Indian "hippie shirt" goes nicely with dreads :)

One of the things we have been learning about is the “4-14 window.” 80% of people who meet the Father do so between the ages of 4 and 14. Yet most groups focus on reaching adults. That’s not very strategic. I am glad to have grown up in a church which values children, and put a lot into the “Kid’s Church” program.

Here in San Jose we work with “Metro M-work.” It’s much like my Kid’s Church experience – fun up-beat songs, games, prizes, and a lesson from the Word with lots of visuals. Only this service takes place on the street, with the parents chilling in front of their houses, watching. As they see us love their kids, and listen in on the stories, the Father works in their lives too. As kids meet the Father, the parents follow suit. Whole families are being reached, through the children…just children?

Is Bigger Really Better?

Orphanages are attractive. Who can help but feel moved by pictures of a large group of adorable orphans? We all went to go visit the orphanages and love on the kids...at least I sure do. When we think of Children At Risk, we think of orphanages, and there are a lot out there who are doing a great job. But there are also alternatives to that.

When I was a child, I was fascinated by orphans. I remember reading a story of little girl on the “orphan train" and loved watching movies such as “Annie”

At 8 or 9 years old I asked to go visit an orphanage, but my mom told me that we don’t have any in the USA, because all the orphans are in foster care or adopted. I must admit, as a child, I was rather disappointed by this discovery.

Phil, our speaker this week, works with “Casa Viva” here in Costa Rica. They network with local followers of the Father to find foster families. Casa Viva provides support and training for the foster families, and has counselors and physiologists available for the children and the families.

The ultimate goal is to reunite the children with their biological families, but if that’s not possible, then for the children to be adopted. That whole system might sound complicated to set up, but compared to an orphanage, it has quicker start-up time, lower start-up costs and on-going costs, and is not dependent on construction of facilities.

Think about your children. If something happened to you, where would they go? Hopefully a relative could take them in. If not, maybe someone else would adopt them, or they could at least have a foster family, or a family-style children’s home with consistent “parents.” But picture your children, brothers and sisters being sent to separate orphanages, being raised as one of many children, with staff and volunteers coming and going.

In Costa Rica there are 1910 children in orphanages, that may seem like a huge number, but there are 3,000 groups of followers of the Father, so if even half of those groups had 1 family who would take in 1 child, there would be no more orphanages. Yes, being raised in an orphanage is better than living on the street or being prostituted, but it is an orphanage the best option for the child?

The Word says, “He places the lonely in families” (Ps 68:8) and it sounds like a good plan to me.

Street Children

This week Mati, from Brazil, came to talk to us about working street children.
While the majority of street kids are from the slum community, poverty is not the main reason they go to the streets.Most come from broken families, with violence and abuse. They go to the street looking for love and acceptance. They find protection by being part of a group of street kids, but in order to join, they have to steal a certain amount of money to give to the leader of the group. In fact, they survive by stealing.

Kids who live on the street hate themselves and others. They are insecure, and don’t trust others. They have lost their hope for themselves and for their future. They are fearless, as the worst that can happen is death.

The main thing street kids need is love. So we need to not only know the Father's love for ourselves, but to live in His love. The more we know His loves us and how special we are to Him, the more we can love the kids.
Here is a little video about street kids in India. It's also a promo for an organization who works with them. I have never heard of the organization, but it's still a good video.

Preparing to Work with Street Kids

For one thing, we need to know we are called us to do this, because it's not easy and we cannot work with street kids out of our own strength. We need to be sure of our calling, and wait for the Father's timing. Our motive has to be that we are working for Him, not for the kids.

We also need to ask the Father to show us what He sees in these kids and how we can best reach them. Then He tells us things that we never would have thought of on our own.

We may work with kids a long time without ever seeing results, so we have to trust that He is doing something.

That may be the hardest thing for me, especially in a world where we want to see results and know the numbers. How many kids meet the Father? How many are involved in our programs? Mati told us about a boy who was in their program, and then left. We would assume he went back to the streets and to doing drugs. Really, he went home to his family, gave his life to the Father, and is doing great. So we might not always know the results of our work, and things might not be as they seem.

Day-Care

Amanda, Hyang, and I entered the large, mostly empty room. There was a row of cribs along the far wall, and just one bin full of stuffed animals. It seemed the exact opposite of the day care I worked at in NY, which had hand-prints painted on the floors, mobiles hanging from the ceiling, and of course, lots of toys and books.

This Costa Rican daycare is a donation based NGO, and they are under-staffed right now because of the lack of finances. On Wednesday half of our class went to help with the kids. Amanda, Hyang, and I volunteered to help in the baby room. The fact that we don’t speak Spanish is no problem with the little ones, it was just a little hard to communicate with the staff.

The 10 “babies” were ages 2-3 and SUPER CUTE!!! Sorry, we’re not allowed to post pictures of them :( The cultural norm here is to dress nice to go out, so even though the toddlers were from poor families, they were dressed in good, clean clothes. The boy’s hair was jelled and spiked, and the girl’s curls were in pig-tails and pony-tails.

The bigger kids raced about on little riding toys, or threw the ball back and forth with us, while the little ones played peek-a-boo behind the cribs, giggling whenever we looked at them. Two cheeky little boys and one of the girls took the toy top from Amanda and chased each other around the room, hiding it behind their backs, or burying it under the stuffed animals.

When the teacher got out a snack, the kids instantly gathered in the corner by the door, trying to climb into their high-chairs, or sit at the little table. I was surprised by how quiet and well-behaved these little ones are, although obviously eager for their snack. I think about my daycare toddlers having a complete melt-down while we prepared their food. Maybe that’s because the USA is more time-oriented and scheduled. Here meal time is whenever the food is ready, therefore kids are not trained to be starving at 7, noon, and 5.

As the kids enjoyed their cookies and juice, Rachel came to tell us it was time to go home…until next time...